EPISODE ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY-TWO
On his way back from
visiting two clients in Southborough, Mike called in at the Cross keys for a
pint. He’d been there only five minutes when who should walk in but Ivor, a
sheepish grin on his face.
‘Have you been out to Thailand yet?’ Mike asked.
Ivor nodded and grinned, and ordered the first of his mandatory eight pints of
Guinness.
Mike was intrigued. ‘So how was it?’
Ivor’s grin became more pronounced. It was supposed to be a secret grin, but he
couldn’t resist showing it off. I’m now a member of that universal club, it
stated. And, like young people think of themselves as having invented sex the
first time they indulge in the rite of passage, Ivor also thought of it as exclusively
his. Even though it boasted a pretty large membership.
After he’d sunk half of his first pint, and wiped his top lip with his tongue,
he said, ‘She’s very nice. And...and I think we might get married. Depends.’
Mike frowned. ‘Depends on what?’
Ivor stared at the floor. Shy or shifty? Mike couldn’t decide.
‘Come on, Ivor, there must be loads of news about your Thai bride. I’m dying to
hear about it. Everything.’
The postman giggled dirtily. ‘Everything? You want to hear everything?’
Mike turned his hands palms up on the bar. ‘It’s why I’m here.’
Ivor leant close to him, glancing furtively over his shoulder, then whispered,
‘We’ve already done it.’
Mike laughed, ‘And how was it?’
Ivor nodded effusively, and his eyes became distant as he recalled the event.
‘And,’ continued Mike, ‘I don’t mean to pry, but where did this consummation
take place.’
‘Hotel.’
‘So when’s the wedding?’
‘In six months time, probably. Out there.’
‘Good luck to you, mate,’ Mike chuckled. ‘But d’you mind if I ask you
something, Ivor?’
Warily, the postman’s eyes narrowed as he stared at Mike, with a growing
suspicion of what he was about to be asked.
‘I know you’re nearly forty. But was it your first time with a woman?’
Ivor opened his mouth to speak but seemed unable to find his voice. Instead, he
forced a grin and tapped the side of his nose knowingly.
Mike sniggered, and Ivor took that to be an acceptance of a man-to-man
understanding that he’d been there before.
But Mike knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that, up until the Thailand visit, the postman had been a virgin.
*
Vanessa, staring moodily into her glass of house white, didn’t notice her
sister arrive at the pub.
‘Hi, Vanessa!’ said Nicky. ‘D’you want another drink?’
Vanessa shook her head. ‘Listen, Nicky, I’m a bit hard-up at the moment, and I
could do with a few wines. Think you could afford to get us a bottle?’
Nicky, feeling uncomfortable with the demand made by her sister, twitched her
lips and started to speak. ‘Well, I...’
Vanessa waved it aside with a hand gesture. ‘No, I shouldn’t have another. I shouldn’t. You just get a glass for
yourself.’
While Nicky went to buy herself a drink, Vanessa looked around the pub at all
the men, hating those that were in suits and ties, laughing and joking and
showing off to their female company. She
was reminded of the recent Volkswagon advertisement on television, and could
hear echoes of the song accompanying it: “Oh, yes, I’m the great pretender...”
When Nicky returned from the bar, and sat opposite her, she bit her lips and
fought back tears.
‘What’s wrong?’ Nicky asked.
‘It’s Paul. He left for Rome yesterday, and I was suspicious about his spending. I
have been for a while now. He’s a travel agent with one shop, and he spends
money like he’s the chief executive of Sainsbury’s. So, after he’d gone – I
know I shouldn’t have done it – I went through some of his credit card
statements. And the time he was supposed to have been on a business trip to the
Canary Isles, he was all the time in London, clubbing it, and spending shed loads of money. Then, not long after I found this out, his
mother rang up. She was in a terrible state. His father had stood as guarantor
for his business...I think it was about seventy-five thousand. Anyway, the business has gone belly up, and
they’re calling in the debt. And it’s his parents’ life savings.’
Vanessa frowned at her drink, took a sip of wine, winced and pushed it to one
side.
‘I’m sorry, Vanessa, I really am,’ Nicky frowned concernedly. ‘What are you going to do?’
Her eyes glistening with suppressed tears, Vanessa said, ‘I wish I knew.’
Nicky reached a hand out and placed it over her sister’s, and squeezed. ‘Try
not to worry about it. I know you
probably love him...well, you haven’t really known him that long, have you? But I’d think of number one if I were you.
These are not your debts, Nicky.’
Vanessa gave a disdainful smile. ‘It’s not as simple as that. My period was
late, recently. I took a pregnancy test this morning. And it’s positive.’
IN EPISODE 143
Paul arrives home to face the music.