EPISODE ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY-FOUR
Nigel stared hard at
the computer screen in his office, with Jackie peering over his shoulder, while
Vanessa stood to one side, frowning.
‘You see!’ Nigel declared. ‘There’s his eyes, and that’s the nose, and the
beard.’
His fingers traced the outlines of the photograph on the monitor.
Vanessa stifled a snorting laugh. ‘It could be anything. In fact, it looks more
like the map of England.’
‘You can’t see it sideways,’ Nigel snapped impatiently. ‘You’ve got to look at
it head-on. Come and stand in front of the screen and you’ll see Him.’
He stepped out of the way, dragging her by the arm so that she was forced to
stand closely in front of the monitor.
‘Well?’ Nigel demanded.
‘It could be Jesus Christ,’ Vanessa conceded.
Triumph lit up Nigel’s face. ‘You see!’ He turned towards Jackie, who still had
doubt written in her expression. ‘Even Vanessa can see it.’
‘On the other hand,’ Vanessa added, ‘it could equally be David Beckham or a map
of England.’
‘Now I can see it,’ Jackie said, staring over her daughter’s shoulder.
Nigel looked as if he wanted to pat her on the head. ‘I knew you would. Good
girl.’
Jackie shook her head, ‘No, I mean England. I think that’s Leeds, and just there to the left is Manchester. Then if you come down to the bottom, you can see
north Kent jutting out and...’
Nigel interrupted angrily, ‘You’re being dense, both of you. Anyone can see
it’s Him. And if you’d seen Him as I did, from the top of the ladder...’
‘I’m sorry,’ Vanessa said. ‘You can make any picture you want to out of your
imagination.’ She turned to her mother and smiled at a memory they shared.
‘Remember when we were little girls, and we had a coal fire, and you used to
poke the coals, and we used to make up pictures...’
Nigel spluttered indignantly. ‘I think you’re both being ridiculous.’
He stormed out of the room.
‘Where are you going?’ Jackie called out.
‘I’ve got to visit a client in Eastbourne.’
Jackie dashed out into the hallway as Nigel grabbed his jacket from the coat
rack.
‘You didn’t say anything about work today.’
‘I forgot.’
‘Is it because you’re upset because we couldn’t see that it was Him.’
‘No, of course not,’ Nigel replied as he opened the front door. ‘I think you’re
probably right. I was just seeing things.’
Convincing himself that he’d been wrong, and it wasn’t a vision, Nigel now felt
it was appropriate to allow himself a little Thai indulgence later in the
afternoon. Repentance would come later.
*
A tiny smile tugging the corners of his mouth, Donald looked across the living
room at Ted and shook his head.
‘I don’t know,’ he said. ‘For someone who likes Shakespeare, and visits the
theatre regularly, you can’t even give a halfway decent performance.’
‘Well,’ Ted sniffed, ‘I’m not an actor, am I?’
‘And doesn’t it show.’
‘I’m a railway guard.’
‘Yes, I am aware of that.’
‘Am I not good enough for you now?’
‘Of course you are. I’m just talking about your dreadful performance in front
of the police.’
‘I don’t see why we couldn’t tell them the truth: that it was Marjorie we
suspected of vandalising your car.’
Donald sighed, picked up his glass of Rioja and took a sip before replying. ‘I
told you,’ he said, ‘I think it was better for insurance purposes just to
report it as a straightforward case of vandalism.’
‘But why?’
‘Because once they start getting into domestic grudges and such like, they
might become a bit funny when it comes to parting with the cash. We agreed on
that before the police came here. But when that nice – rather attractive –
constable asked if anyone had a grudge against us, you went puce and began
behaving like an MP being questioned by Jeremy Paxman. I’ve never heard so much
stammering. “Bu...bu...bu..I duh...duh...don’t think so”, you said. “You mean
there could be someone?” said the rather dishy copper. To which you replied
with a mere shake of the head, then excused yourself and said you had to go to
the toilet. Pathetic!’
Ted’s eyes suddenly blazed angrily. ‘Well, to hell with you!’
‘What did you say?’
‘You heard.’
Donald laughed. ‘Oh dear, you are funny. You’re such a character. So – what’s
the word I’m looking for? – you’re so awkward. Gauche with a capital G.’
Ted stood up, his chest puffed out indignantly. ‘That’s it! I’ve had enough.
I’m going out.’
Donald also rose hastily, a worried frown on his face. ‘Where are you going?’
‘I don’t know, and I don’t care.’
*
When Ivor got home, his father had found his bundle of Thailand photographs which he had concealed in his special
hiding place, above his wardrobe beneath an old suitcase.
‘How did you get those?’ Ivor demanded.
‘More to the point, son, why have you got the piccies of you and this tart in
bed together?’
Ivor’s eyes misted over. ‘Dad, what were you doing rummaging about in my room?’
‘Because I knew you had something to hide.’
‘Y-you have no right to go into my room like that. It’s private.’
‘I have every right, especially as you’re thinking of bringing this tart to
live here.’
‘Shut up about it, will you!’
‘Don’t you start getting stroppy with me, else you’ll feel the back of my
hand.’
Ivor’s voice began to shake, and he felt he was on the edge of tears. ‘But this
is my house.’
His father looked as if he’d been confronted by a demon from hell. ‘What did
you say?’
‘I bought this house.’
‘But you don’t own it. The only way you were able to buy it so cheap is because
it was my council house, where you
was brought up. Just you remember that. And if you want to bring some little
slut to live here – I mean in this country – you can find somewhere else to live.
Where are you off to?’
Ivor didn’t reply. He slammed the door and headed for the nearest pub where he
intended sinking at least ten pints of the black stuff.
IN EPISODE 155
Paul tries to smooth things over with Vanessa