EPISODE THREE

Nigel Pooley caught Mike looking pointedly at his watch and hastily ended his telephone conversation.
‘Sorry about that,’ he said. ‘The phone just hasn’t stopped all day. I’ll put it on answer. No more interruptions.’
Mike moved a chair close to the computer workstation Nigel tutted. ‘It’s a bit close to the computer. I’m thinking of all those little hairs. I know you’ve got to plug in your hairdryer, but...’
‘Don’t you have a cover for it?’ asked Mike, running short on patience.
‘I don’t know what Betty’s done with it. Betty’s my new secretary. Two days a week. Nice lady. Very well spoken. Lives in Cranbrook, so I have to give her petrol money as well. But she’s worth it. A very tidy person. I can’t bear clutter...’
Mike sighed audibly. ‘Look, I don’t want to rush you...’
Nigel looked aggrieved, until he realised he’d kept Mike waiting throughout three telephone conversations.
‘I’m sorry to keep you. It won’t take a minute to change out of my suit and rinse my hair.’
Mike breathed a sigh of relief, but Nigel was distracted by a newspaper cutting on top of a filing cabinet.
‘Have a look at that,’ he said, handing Mike the cutting. ‘And let me know what you think.’
Left alone in the office, Mike studied the cutting. ‘Sales Executive,’ it said. Interests include travel and music. Would like to meet mature and attractive lady with similar interests, with a view to marriage. Must be a non-smoker and committed Christian.’
Mike flung it with disgust onto the desktop.  ‘Sales executive,’ he thought. ‘Selling garden tools from his spare bedroom in Crowborough. Who’s he trying to kid?’
Nigel returned, wearing a towelling bathrobe.  He looked a bit sheepish.  Mike wondered why he had been given the cutting to read.
After an awkward silence, while Mike prepared to cut his client’s hair, Nigel asked him what he thought.
‘About the newspaper ad? I suppose it’s as good a way as any to meet someone.’
‘Exactly! And it’s a short cut to finding someone with the same Christian beliefs as yours truly.’
Mike remembered being given an ear-bashing the last time he’d cut Nigel’s hair, and quickly changed the subject.
‘You still selling unusual garden tools?’
‘That was only ever a sideline. I’m concentrating all my energies on what I do best – selling telephone systems. And it’s still a vertical market. I was speaking to a client only today...’
Mike thought it was time for another change of subject.
‘What sort of music you interested in?’
‘I don’t really know,’ replied the salesman with an apologetic tone. ‘You see, I had to put : something in the advert. I don’t have any interests outside of work.  I don’t watch TV; I don’t read – other than my Bible. So I had to put something interesting about myself.   I suppose I quite like Country and Western Something with a nice tune. I know what I like when I hear it.’
Mike was becoming depressed. He couldn’t wait to get to his bolthole, drive across Ashdown Forest to a pub in Rusthall, where he could sink a few beers and forget about customers like Nigel Pooley.
The salesman chuckled suddenly. ‘I’ve already had some response to the ad. Very attractive she looks in the photo.  I’m taking her out to dinner on Saturday night.’
‘You poor woman,’ thought Mike. ‘Little do you know what you’re letting yourself in for.’

*

As soon as he had finished his shift, Ted fancied a pint in the Kentish Yeoman, which was only just up the hill from the station. Admittedly the pub was now called the Orson Welles, and had been for some time, but Ted still thought of it as the ‘Yeoman’.  Old habits and that.
He was relieved to find it was quiet at the pub, and he bought himself a pint of lager and sank into a comfortable seat.  He took a couple of sips of beer, then opened the sports bag containing his uniform and took out the paperback book.  He turned to the last page and began to read, his lips delicately miming the words: ‘If we shadows have offended, Think but this, and all is mended – ’
‘Good book, is it?’
Ted was startled at the intrusion. He hadn’t paid much attention to the man at the table next to his. He was a middle-aged man with thinning grey hair, wearing an expensive-looking brown leather jacket. He smiled pleasantly at Ted.
‘Covering it in plain paper’s a dead giveaway,’ he said.
Ted felt himself blushing. ‘No,’ he protested. ‘It’s Shakespeare. A Midsummer Night’s Dream.’
‘And here was I thinking you had something to hide.’
‘No...I...’
‘This is a coincidence, our meeting like this. I ’m also extremely fond of Shakespeare. I suppose you’d call me a bit of a buff, really. And I just happen to have a couple of tickets for the Royal Shakespeare Company season at the Albery next Saturday. Would you like to come with me?’
Ted shook is head nervously.‘ I start the next shift on Saturday. I’m a guard on South Eastern Trains you see.’
‘Well how about Friday then?’
Ted eyed him suspiciously. ‘I thought the tickets were for Saturday.’
The man grinned. ‘Would you like to come or not?’
‘Yes,’ said Ted, making the most spontaneous decision of his life. ‘Yes, I would.’

IN EPISODE FOUR ON TUESDAY


Mike risks drinking and driving and lies to his wife.  Marjorie confronts Ted about his secret.


Episode Four  Homepage