EPISODE FORTY-EIGHT

Heaving and puffing, Ted struggled through the door pulling the heavy suitcase, and he was also carrying Marjorie’s heavy overnight case.  Marjorie carried a bag of Duty Frees and an enormous Mickey Mouse soft toy.
‘Mind the paintwork,’ she said, as she hurried to the hallstand mirror to admire her sun-tanned reflection.
Ted slammed the door shut with his foot. ‘We should have got a taxi,’ he grumbled, letting Marjorie’s bag drop.
‘We’re not made of money. It’s not as if we’re far from the station.’
Ted straightened his back and groaned pointedly.  ‘It’s all right for you. You didn’t have to struggle up the hill with them.’
‘You’re out of condition, that’s your trouble.’
Marjorie took one last look at herself, then walked down the hall towards the kitchen. ‘I’m exhausted after that journey. Could do with a cup of tea.’
Ted followed her into the kitchen. She put the bag of Duty Free gin, cream sherry and perfume on the table, then propped Mickey Mouse sitting up against them.  She flopped into a chair.
‘Put the kettle on, Ted. I’ve had it.’
Instinctively, Ted did as he was asked, but couldn’t resist commenting, ‘Yes, you must be tired. You’ve had to lug that rodent all the way from America.’
‘There’s no need to be sarcastic. ’She touched Mickey’s nose affectionately. ‘I’ve always had a soft spot for Mickey Mouse – ever since I was so high.’
Ted slammed a mug down forcefully. ‘Cost a fortune it did.’
‘Everyone’s entitled to come back from their hols with a souvenir of some sort.’
‘It was embarrassing. Sitting on the plane cuddling it. It’s not as if...’ He broke off, afraid to say what he thought.
‘Not as if we’ve got any children. Is that what you were going to say? And whose fault is that?’
Ted felt the side of the kettle, wishing it would hurry up and boil.
‘You could have had tests, you know,’ Marjorie continued accusingly. ‘But you were too embarrassed.’
‘If I remember rightly, it was you who didn’t want me to have the tests done. You refused to talk about it. I was quite willing to...’
Marjorie snapped, ‘Then why didn’t you? Why d’you always have to do everything I say?’ Confused, Ted looked down at his feet, feeling he was in a no-win situation.
Irritated, Marjorie stormed to the larder in a renewed burst of energy and fetched the biscuit tin.
‘Not that it matters now,’ she said. ‘I’m forty-five and you’ll be fifty-two soon.  Doesn’t time fly when you’re having fun?’
Ted stared at her. The way she chomped on a chocolate Hobnob made him want to throttle her. As if she could sense what he was thinking, her eyes fixed him in her sights.
‘What’s wrong?’ she demanded.
His voice uncomfortably husky, he asked, ‘Do you regret not having had children?’
‘You know I do.’
‘No, I don’t. We’ve never talked about it. Not since...not since years ago, anyway.’
‘Does it matter? ’Her hand disappeared into the biscuit tin and she speared another Hobnob.
Ted sighed deeply. ‘No, I don’t suppose it does.’
Marjorie crunched into the biscuit and spoke through a mouthful of crumbs. ‘I think I’ll take my tea upstairs. Have a nice soak in the bath.’
‘There’ll be no hot water yet.’
Marjorie tutted. ‘Run upstairs and put the immersion on, would you?’ She saw the pained expression on his face. ‘Or must I do everything myself?’

*

As he began cutting Nigel’s hair, Mike said, ‘You know, it’s strange, but I thought I’d lost a customer for a minute.’
Nigel could feel himself colouring. After a telling pause, he asked, ‘How d’you mean?’
‘Well, after that business about your girlfriend phoning my wife up, I thought it would lead to...I don’t know...I got the impression your girlfriend wouldn’t like to see me around.’
Nigel cleared his throat nosily. ‘Actually, I’m still master of my own house.’
‘Where is she?’ Mike asked pointedly.
Another pause. ‘She’s gone back to her place for a few days. We had a disagreement.’
‘Not about me, I hope.’
‘Don’t flatter yourself, Mike.’ Realising it came out sounding rude, Nigel chuckled and added, ‘It’s just that it’s hard to understand women.’
‘Tell me about it,’ said Mike, his mind winging its way into Maggie’s bed.
Although there was no-one who could overhear them, Nigel’s voice dropped to almost a whisper. ‘If I tell you...’ he began.
‘What?’
‘You know how I met Jackie, through the dating service? Well, this other woman got in touch with me only yesterday. She looks very attractive. And she sounds as though she’s really up for it, if you catch my drift.’
Intrigued, Mike pretended ignorance. ‘I’m not with you. When you say “up for it”...’
Nigel sniggered like a dirty schoolboy. ‘I spoke to her on the phone. Sounds like she just wants a good stuffing.’
Mike choked back a laugh. ‘Really. How come?’
‘Some of the things she was saying. Suggestive, rude things. Yes, I think she’s really up for it. What would you do, if you were me?’
However boring Nigel was, a little bit of intrigue would liven up Mike’s occasional visits to cut his hair. So he said, ‘There’s only one rule in life, where philandering is concerned. Don’t get caught. Just treat it as a final fling before you get married.’
Nigel nodded his head vigorously, so that Mike had to shift the scissors back.
‘Thank you, Mike. I think I might do that. I mean, what harm can come of it?’
‘None at all,’ said Mike, hoping and praying that Jackie would find out.

IN EPISODE FORTY-NINE

Nigel makes it up with Jackie but has ulterior motives.


Episode Forty-Nine  Homepage